Bill's - Sydney

Bad, Badder, Baddest?
Perhaps a blind man whose sense of smell and taste has sharpened? Or a man born with five tongues? Surely no ordinary person could coax any taste from this monotonously bland fare. I looked around, confused, at the elbow-to-elbow crowd within Bill's but never arrived at an explanation. This was the worst meal I've had in a very long time. When I bit into the flatbread it wouldn't comply, I had to twist it between my teeth until a piece eventually tore off. It was stale and lifeless - probably bland when it was fresh a few days earlier but now it had mutated into cardboard.

Janet's Pies - Sydney

Had to Do It
Akin to getting a bagel in NY or a croissant in Paris you have to get a meat pie in Australia, right? I didn't seek out the best one or get any advice, I stumbled into Janet's Pies while exploring King St in Newtown. It certainly looked the part - the chicken-mushroom combo sat majestically on the plate next to a tower of mash and a spill of peas.

Hungry Jack's - Sydney

The King is Dead, Long Live the King
When Burger King tried to expand into Australia they found that the name had already been trademarked in by another restaurant. They offered their franchisee his pick of some of their other trademarked names and he chose Hungry Jack's. Rest assured, tastewise, if not namewise, this is a delicious Whopper Jr.

Bambini Trust Cafe - Sydney

Hit by a Truck
Changing time zones is hard enough but going from summer to winter adds insult to injury. I hadn't anticipated this on the 7 hr flight from Singapore to Sydney, I was busy with thoughts of murder. A few rows back, a two year-old Chinese boy screeched and tugged wildly at grandma's hair without reproach - the one child policy gone awry. By the time I cleared customs and wandered into the 40 degree chill, I felt like I'd been in a car accident. Perfect time for what they in Oz call "brekkie."